Everyone is talking about the strange Tiger Woods incident, and the mystery and drama surrounding it. Actually, it’s probably not that mysterious; he had an affair, his wife found out, and decided to let him have it with one of his golf clubs. I’m having a hard time conjuring up any sympathy for him. Some folks want to turn this into a racially charged issue, but I say, if you choose to accept the perks that come with being a celebrity, you don’t get to complain overmuch about the inevitable invasion of privacy.
What I wonder, is how will this series of events and indiscretions impact Tiger’s “job”? I had to put job in quotes because although I know it takes a lot of work to do what he does, it’s hard for most people to equate golfing every day with a “job”. Look at it this way. If an executive at your company had an extramarital affair, would they get fired? Probably not. How about, if an executive at your company had an extramarital affair with a colleague? Well, I guess that’s another matter and depends on the situation and the company.
Should Tiger be fired from all is endorsement deals because (gasp) he’s not actually a good role model in affairs of the heart…so to speak? If he shot someone, I would say, of course he should lose endorsement deals. But for cheating on is wife? Well, it may be lame but in spite of his celebrity status, I tend to agree with him, it should be a private matter between him and his wife to sort out. I am not sure it’s fair that we hold celebrities to a higher moral standard than we do other people.
I’ll close this with some insights on the whole Tiger situation from my uncle Shawn...his rant is below. Enjoy.
tracy c
The only Tiger that’s grrrrrrrrreat is Tony the Tiger. And now he’s only gonna pay a $164 fine? Are you kidding? Not only did he crack the hydrant and destroy the tree, it’s now being reported his neighborhood is on “lockdown”! One of the kids in the area tried to go to school and was stopped by law enforcement. Another neighbor was forced to turn over her memory card from her camera to officials!
Tiger can not bury his head in the sand (trap) over this one. Maybe Barack can convene another beer summit to figure all this out. Maybe the $164 could be used for a new GPS system in the Caddy so Tiger could now see WHERE HE IS GOING!
And now we have skanks from all over saying they have had affairs with TW. Jaimee Grubbs (“Grubby” to her friends) now says she too was having an affair with Tiger. Grubby is a cocktail “waitress” (wink wink) and has previously appeared on the reality show “Tool Academy”. Gee, what a surprise- another tramp who wants her own reality show. I think Tiger must have taken Nike’s slogan a little too literally. “Just Do It” in his case should have been “Just do it - but don’t get caught”!
The latest Tiger jokes, puns, etc:
* Tiger has decided not to attend this weekend’s golf tournament. He’d like to, but his wife still has his nine iron.
* She did what all the other golfers in the world can’t do- she beat Tiger Woods.
* News flash: Tiger changes his name to “cheetah”.
* That was the shortest drive of his career.
* His wife hit him with a “hate” iron.
* He can now trade in his green jacket for an orange jumpsuit.
* Talk about getting the “shaft”.
* Tiger Woods has new corporate sponsors- Earl Scheib and Jacoby and Myers.
* What’s the difference between a golf ball and a car? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 400 yards.
* What were tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 am? They were night-clubbing.
It's all just more proof that golfers aren't atheletes. Even in a Cadillac he couldn't outrun a perpetually sunglassed model. Maybe he was waiting for the Caddy to hand him a club -- a driver, no doubt Anyway… How do you run over a fire hydrant AND then a tree? (BTW- I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. I had to quit- you couldn’t park anywhere near the place!) Well, at least he wasn’t speeding!
Anytime anybody is leaving their house at 2:30 in the morning is a bad thing. Why is he driving a Caddy? Doesn’t he do Buick commercials? (GM= Government Motors). What he should have been driving is a golf cart! Also, he was barefoot, which is (believe it or not) illegal in Florida ! So he can get arrested “fore” that, along with reckless “driving” (not with the clubs!). And he’s refused to talk to officers three times? Wow. Imagine if you or I did that: “Sorry officer, I refuse to talk to you about my criminal behavior”! Yeah, like that would work! This “cover up” should not be allowed! If that crazy trophy model wife of his attacked him, she needs to go to the pokie with balloon boy’s dad NOW! I think she used that nine iron to make a divot in his head (good chip shot!).
I wonder if the car has Onstar? “Hello, Onstar? According to the National Enquirer, I just got caught screwing some skank named Rachel who also was with Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez in the past, my wife confronted me about the affair, and then beat the crap out of me with my favorite putter, so I ran out of my mansion barefoot, jumped in my Escalade, and now I’m stuck in my car after hitting a dog urinal and a giant elm. Oh, wait, here comes that crazy bitch now- she’s breaking the back window of my ride! Oh, the humanity! I guess I’m “in the rough now”! I’ll have to buy her a “ Kobe special”!
Regarding the nosy neighbors who placed the 911 call, the Adams Family (yes, I’m serious). They’re creepy and they’re spooky. All together kooky. Did Uncle Fester place the call? Gomez? Wednesday? Morticia? Lurch? Thing? And these winners have an attorney now. WTF? Why do they need an attorney? Are you kidding? The only reason for this is they want attention, and, as has been reported, their own reality show! And you thought it couldn’t get any worse than “I Love New York ”! What’s next- Reverend Wright with his own reality series? That would be “par” for the course!
P.S. I hate golf- I always get stuck in the windmill!