The Crow

Voodoo Dolls at Work

 
Found this lovely image on www.scaryforkids.com

I get spammed with random “HR News” type articles all the time. I just ignore most of them. However, I have to admit, this one got my attention: “Do you have any guidance on Voodoo dolls in the office?”

Really? Who in the hell brings Voodoo dolls to work? Yikes. It's so...wrong.

But of course, the more I think about it, I have decided that it’s actually kind of a great idea. Not from an HR perspective, mind you, but from an employee perspective. People would undoubtedly leave you alone if you had a bunch of Voodoo dolls with little pins and bits of hair all over your cubicle. “You can’t get that report to me for another week? No problem, Bob! Whenever you have a chance! I’ll just be going now!”

The Lawroom.com editor responded to the question with the following statement, in case you want to know…you could be legally protected should you decide to terrorize your employer with this one:  "… if possessing an item is related to an employee's sincerely held religious belief, it may have to be tolerated."

More here: http://www.lawroom.com/AskEdAns.aspx?&AID=90

What would you do if you work working next to an openly, actively practicing Voodoo religion aficionado? Besides be really, really nice to them...

 tracy c

No Lame Holiday Gifts at Work

 

image http://www.sun-sentinel.com/sfl-worst-holiday-gifts-ever-pg,0,7874961.photogallery via OMAR VEGA, December 11, 2007

Every year, I get asked by managers what to do about holiday gift giving. And every year, in every company, I see different practices from department to department.

Last year, I was definitely down on it, as you can tell from my holiday post this time last year! (have I been doing this blog that long?! I have!): http://bit.ly/f8babs. 

The gift giving thing at work is tough. How much should you spend? Does everyone get a gift, or only your direct reports? Should it be personal or generic? 

First of all, you should consider how well you know these people…For example, don’t give a bottle of wine to a teetotaler, it will only annoy them and make you look clueless. In general, I recommend erring on the side of NOT giving gifts in the traditional sense. And honestly, who needs another box of See’s candy or a Starbucks card...or a dreaded fruitcake? Right. Instead, think about some of these meaningful and business appropriate ways to recognize your team during the holiday season:

• Take the team to a holiday lunch (not dinner, especially during the holidays… your employees don’t really want to hang out with you on their precious free time, but they are happy to get away from the office at lunch for a couple of hours!).
• Give each person a personal holiday wish, whether via email or in a card.
• Something the team has been wanting for the department (fridge, foosball table, whatever).
• Something fun and work related, like pay for a limo or fun transportation to and from a company event, like a company holiday party. 
• Best gift of all: Let them go home early one afternoon.

Whatever you do, be true to yourself. Don’t give everyone a cutesy ornament if you aren’t the cutesy ornament type. It’s going to come across as phony and trying too hard. Better to do nothing at all than try to be someone you’re not.

And in case you were wondering, my team will probably get an e-card, because that's how I roll ;)

tracy

Have Fun Goddammit!

 

 
Image and Inspiration from the Economist

Someone sent an article from the Economist to me at work today. It was called "Down With Fun; The Depressing Vogue for Having Fun at Work." 

He told me I should be our Chief Fun Officer...I hope he was being ironic but you know, I just started here and…it’s hard to know for sure.

The guy in the article goes off about how lame “forced fun” is. I tend to agree.  If you have to force it…it just isn’t happening. On the other hand, as much as I admire the Madmen recipe for a good time (smoking, drinking to get drunk, and office romance run amok), I am not really sure that’s the answer either. Mostly because I no longer look that great in a pencil skirt and clingy sweater and really, hardly anyone looks good in red lipstick.

Seriously...Do employees want someone in charge of ensuring they have a good time? Do you need a slide at work to feel engaged? Clowns, perhaps?

How can and should employers make work fun without forcing the issue? Snide commentary from the author of the anti-fun post aside, what do you think?

Article here: http://www.economist.com/node/17035923?story_id=17035923&CFID=148951675&CFTOKEN=66063146

tracy c

Does Your Employer Reward Your Addiction?

Mad Men makes it look so glamorous. The two-pack-a-day habit. The three-martini lunches. Throw in an extra-marital affair for the holy trinity of advertising addictions.

According to the legendary ad exec Jerry Della Femina, Mad Men was actually an understatement to the true 60’s ad lifestyle.  “We used to have an agency "sex" contest near the end of every year.” he admits in this USA Today article. “We'd go to a no-name Mexican restaurant… and we'd drink giant margaritas all day. It was an idea I had when I realized our people were spending too much time talking and thinking about sex, and not working it.”

Fast forward a few decades – and enough DUIs, divorces and lung cancer death to scare a new generation of ad folks straight: advertising lifestyle doesn’t look the same as it used to.  But there is one addiction that prevails:

“Hello my name is Bill W. and I’m a Work Addict.”

Unlike other addictions - which employers are quick to offer Employee Assistance Programs for - the Workaholics list of symptoms reads like an atta-boy list for your next promotion:

• Do you take work with you to bed? On weekends? On vacation?
• Do you work more than 40 hours a week?
• Do you believe that it is okay to work long hours if you love what you are doing?
• Do you get impatient with people who have other priorities besides work?
• Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep or when others are talking?
• Do you work or read during meals?                                                                                                                     

Has fear, mobile tether devices, and a down economy – particularly in markets like Detroit – turned us all into workaholic zombies?  Rationalizing 80-hour work-weeks, insane travel schedules and less time with family with the relief of: at-least-I-have a-job-in-this-economy? Will we look back in 30 years and reminisce in disbelief – like the way we look back at the smoking, sex and drinking habits of yesteryear – “I can’t believe we worked that way back then.” Or, is today’s work addiction only the beginning of our new world-is-flat, competitive economy? 

As employers and managers, we need to be careful not to reward employees for work addiction behavior. We can do more to help employees recognize if they might be candidates for burnout. Here are some ways to encourage work-life balance – even during tight times:

• Make a habit of reminding employees when they have un-used vacation – and to actually use it. Organic’s HR department sends out quarterly reminders to our staff – encouraging employees to take their time off.
• If an employee is brave enough to wave the white flag – and admit they’re overworked, help find the resources to divide their workload.
•  Offer concierge or personal services to help employees feel balance and me-time. Organic offers monthly massage services in the offices. Other employers offer dry cleaning, errand pick-ups, on-site child care or even doggie day care services.
• Include extended family for work outings. It allows them to meet the people employees are spending so much time away from home with – and makes them feel a part of things. At Organic holiday functions, our leadership makes a point of thanking spouses for their understanding during particularly busy periods.
•  Allow flexibility with work-from-home days or occasionally bringing kids to the office.
• As bosses – when our employees are on vacation – step away from the email or phone. Is the latest crisis really vacation-interruption worthy?  While we should take our client’s work seriously, we should remind ourselves “It’s not a heart in a cooler.” It’s advertising for crying-out-loud.

When P&L’s get snug and clients get demanding, its easy for us – as employers – to push our staff to their limit and perhaps take for granted those that might be workaholic inclined.  As employers, we can look back at the insanity of the 60’s to remind ourselves the importance of balance. Even Don Draper took the occasional vacation.

The author, Traci Armstrong, won’t admit the irony of completing this article during a bout of insomnia in the wee hours of the morning. At least she wasn’t smoking or sipping bourbon during the time of this writing…

Is Your Workplace The Social Media Gestapo?

Image credit: Ernest Descal

6 Ways Employee Social Media Freedom Benefits An Employer

The Social Media Revolution is seeping into the workplace and employers are nervous. According to social web blogger David Armano, approximately 70% of organizations ban social networks devices. USA Today reports a lower amount but still: an October 22nd, 2009 survey shows 54% of businesses are banning social media from the workplace. Fears and worry about decreased productivity and/or risk exposure seem to be resulting in microcosms of censorship within workplaces.  We all know how well that turned out for East Germany.  

Unless companies are trying to create a Dilbert-like workplace environment of mistrust and oppression, banning social media is simply not a good idea. In fact, allowing employees to access social media could actually result in many benefits for the employer.  Here's how:

Team Building and Camaraderie
US employers spend billions on employee team building activities like picnics, holiday parties and team building exercises. Allowing employees to participate in the virtual water-cooler dialogue of social media - gives them a chance to bond and find subjects they can relate to - free of cost to the employer. Studies show the main reason employees stay in jobs (or leave jobs) is due to their level of satisfaction with co-worker relationships. Social media allows employees to find a common bond and enhance the relationships with those they work.

Productivity Benefits from Brain Breaks
A Discovery magazine article reports that neuroscientists at MIT have confirmed: taking breaks helps us learn and be more productive. A 2006 study observed rats pausing after exploring an unfamiliar maze. The neuroscientists theorize the rats are using the break to re-trace their steps in the maze for memory purposes - thus leading to better productivity during the next maze run. Another example: educators can confirm first-hand the benefits of sending students to recess - and the chaotic results if kids don't get their downtime.

Social media is the equivalent of workplace recess. Mind breaks lead to employee satisfaction and better productivity. This results in increased morale, reduced employee stress, low absenteeism and more engaged, healthier employees.  All of these employee traits help the company bottom line.

On-the-Job Training
Social media can serve as a virtual think tank.  If an employee is embarking upon a new project and needs advice from her peers, it's as easy as posting a question to their social networks. Many professional groups are established on LinkedIn or Facebook and offer a venue for discussion and the opportunity to post specific questions. Polls and surveys enable virtual focus groups. Employees can easily follow subject matter experts on a site like Twitter for a RSS-like feed of relevant content. While many companies offer organized mentoring programs, with social media, employees can choose their own on-line advisor for guidance and knowledge share.

Trust and Transparency
If Facebook were a country, it would be the 4th largest. In September 2009, Facebook reached over 300 million active users. Gen Yer's continue to rely less on email and more on social media to communicate. Banning employees from this widespread communication tool is akin to telling your employees they can't use the phone for personal calls or e-mail friends and family.  It's a signal your company is oppressive and in the dark ages. With the sale of smart-phones on the rise, it's likely that employees would access their social media sites on their mobile anyway - creating an environment of concealment and mistrust.  

Allowing employees to access social media communicates: "We trust you're mature and know when enough is enough."  For employees that do abuse their time on social media, managers and HR departments should address the issue on an individual level - similar to any other performance problem like absenteeism, low productivity or work quality.

Listening / Monitoring
Much like many brands are monitoring customers to address satisfaction issues, employers can apply the same model.  If employees are complaining about their employer on social media, it might hurt a corporate brand - but it at least allows the employer a chance to address complaints or dissatisfaction.  

Many companies conduct internal employee surveys to evaluate morale and employee satisfaction. As an alternative, HR or Marketing staff could consider following and creating user lists / groups of employees on social sites to easily monitor conversation. Or, using a monitoring tool like Seesmic or Tweetdeck on Twitter allows an employer to continuously monitor keywords - like your company name - and immediately address unfavorable messaging. Caution: if your workplace doesn't offer a culture of transparency and openness, employees could misconstrue this as employer stalking.  

Brand Evangelists
Just like unhappy employees complain about their jobs, happy employees love to share their positive workplace experience. And, 78% of consumers trust peer recommendations over a brand's marketing efforts. That holds true for the workplace as well: happy, well-performing employees will attract similar employees - a huge recruiting benefit.

The key for happy tweeps and happy tweets is creating a culture and environment that an employee feels like they can contribute and express themselves. A satisfied employee will be an advocate for your company, might share job openings with their friends and boast about the latest accomplishments. You can't buy that kind of press. Employers that embrace social media and provide employees with a simple policy, best practices, legal no-no's and basic usage / etiquette training will create an environment of openness with lower risk to the employer.  

The fall of the Berlin Wall 20 years ago is a poignant analogy of how closing off people to outside connection ultimately fails.  And it's begging the question: How permanent are your social media firewalls?

Traci Armstrong
@tannarmstrong

Note: A version of this post originally appeared in Advertising Age November 16, 2009.

Gift Giving at Work: Awkward

_{Image from m masahara on flickr}

I received a surprise gift this week: a candidate we interviewed once several months ago, who opted out of the process on his own, sent several of his interviewers a very fancy box of candy. It was nice, but it was weird. During the holidays, many people feel the need to give coworkers, managers, and apparently even former interviewers gifts. I suggest thinking carefully about professional gift giving before you do.

Call me Scrooge, but I am not a big fan of gift giving at work during the holidays or any other time. These people are your coworkers, not friends, or family. Granted, some coworkers are actually friends and some family members are not. Generally, I advise keeping it professional at work; as a plus, you can avoid both the stress and expense associated with the whole who gets what exercise.

Every year at this time, managers inevitably ask me for home addresses of employees. I try to be reasonably responsible with confidential information, so I don’t like to give addresses out for this unnecessary exercise. You see them at work! If you must give them something, a card, a gift, whatever, do it at work. When managers ask me for employee addresses, I ask the employee if it’s ok to give it out first. Which I am sure spoils any element of surprise.

Employees never ask me if they can have their manager’s address for this purpose. Which is not to say that employees don’t occasionally give their manager a holiday gift, they sometimes do. Which brings me to part two of this topic: what is an appropriate gift for someone you work with?

From manager to employee, you can never go wrong with a holiday bonus if the company will spring for it, but I don’t consider that a gift, it’s compensation. My husband’s office always gives their employees a nice electronic gadget. Since we are gadget people, it’s invariably something we already have. A lot of employers go with gift cards, which are safe and hard to argue with, although they are impersonal. I see lots of bottles of alcohol floating around this time of year, and while I love to imbibe, it’s not a safe gift unless you know the person pretty well.  I don’t know what employees give their bosses, since I don’t do it. If you are giving coworkers gifts, that gets tricky, because how do you decide who should get what and are you making anyone feel left out? It’s like Valentine’s in grade school all over again.

Even if your heart is in the right place, you should probably put it back where it belongs. But, if you are overwhelmed with holiday spirit, and feel compelled gift give to your colleagues, keep it professional, keep it clean, and keep it at work!

Ho ho ho,

tracy c

Would you fire Tiger?

  No vanity here. Image from Scrape TV News

Everyone is talking about the strange Tiger Woods incident, and the mystery and drama surrounding it. Actually, it’s probably not that mysterious; he had an affair, his wife found out, and decided to let him have it with one of his golf clubs. I’m having a hard time conjuring up any sympathy for him. Some folks want to turn this into a racially charged issue, but I say, if you choose to accept the perks that come with being a celebrity, you don’t get to complain overmuch about the inevitable invasion of privacy.

What I wonder, is how will this series of events and indiscretions impact Tiger’s “job”? I had to put job in quotes because although I know it takes a lot of work to do what he does, it’s hard for most people to equate golfing every day with a “job”. Look at it this way. If an executive at your company had an extramarital affair, would they get fired? Probably not. How about, if an executive at your company had an extramarital affair with a colleague? Well, I guess that’s another matter and depends on the situation and the company.

Should Tiger be fired from all is endorsement deals because (gasp) he’s not actually a good role model in affairs of the heart…so to speak? If he shot someone, I would say, of course he should lose endorsement deals. But for cheating on is wife? Well, it may be lame but in spite of his celebrity status, I tend to agree with him, it should be a private matter between him and his wife to sort out. I am not sure it’s fair that we hold celebrities to a higher moral standard than we do other people.

I’ll close this with some insights on the whole Tiger situation from my uncle Shawn...his rant is below. Enjoy.

tracy c

The only Tiger that’s grrrrrrrrreat is Tony the Tiger. And now he’s only gonna pay a $164 fine? Are you kidding? Not only did he crack the hydrant and destroy the tree, it’s now being reported his neighborhood is on “lockdown”! One of the kids in the area tried to go to school and was stopped by law enforcement. Another neighbor was forced to turn over her memory card from her camera to officials!

Tiger can not bury his head in the sand (trap) over this one. Maybe Barack can convene another beer summit to figure all this out. Maybe the $164 could be used for a new GPS system in the Caddy so Tiger could now see WHERE HE IS GOING!

And now we have skanks from all over saying they have had affairs with TW. Jaimee Grubbs (“Grubby” to her friends) now says she too was having an affair with Tiger. Grubby is a cocktail “waitress” (wink wink) and has previously appeared on the reality show “Tool Academy”. Gee, what a surprise- another tramp who wants her own reality show. I think Tiger must have taken Nike’s slogan a little too literally. “Just Do It” in his case should have been “Just do it - but don’t get caught”!

The latest Tiger jokes, puns, etc:
    * Tiger has decided not to attend this weekend’s golf tournament. He’d like to, but his wife still has his nine iron.
    * She did what all the other golfers in the world can’t do- she beat Tiger Woods.
    * News flash: Tiger changes his name to “cheetah”.
    * That was the shortest drive of his career.
    * His wife hit him with a “hate” iron.
    * He can now trade in his green jacket for an orange jumpsuit.
    * Talk about getting the “shaft”.
    * Tiger Woods has new corporate sponsors- Earl Scheib and Jacoby and Myers.
    * What’s the difference between a golf ball and a car? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 400 yards.
    * What were tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 am? They were night-clubbing.

It's all just more proof that golfers aren't atheletes.  Even in a Cadillac he couldn't  outrun a perpetually sunglassed model.  Maybe he was waiting for the Caddy to hand him a club -- a driver, no doubt Anyway… How do you run over a fire hydrant AND then a tree? (BTW- I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. I had to quit- you couldn’t park anywhere near the place!) Well, at least he wasn’t speeding!

Anytime anybody is leaving their house at 2:30 in the morning is a bad thing. Why is he driving a Caddy? Doesn’t he do Buick commercials? (GM= Government Motors). What he should have been driving is a golf cart! Also, he was barefoot, which is (believe it or not) illegal in Florida ! So he can get arrested “fore” that, along with reckless “driving” (not with the clubs!). And he’s refused to talk to officers three times? Wow. Imagine if you or I did that: “Sorry officer, I refuse to talk to you about my criminal behavior”! Yeah, like that would work! This “cover up” should not be allowed! If that crazy trophy model wife of his attacked him, she needs to go to the pokie with balloon boy’s dad NOW!  I think she used that nine iron to make a divot in his head (good chip shot!).   

I wonder if the car has Onstar? “Hello, Onstar? According to the National Enquirer, I just got caught screwing some skank named Rachel who also was with Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez in the past, my wife confronted me about the affair, and then beat the crap out of me with my favorite putter, so I ran out of my mansion barefoot, jumped in my Escalade, and now I’m stuck in my car after hitting a dog urinal and a giant elm. Oh, wait, here comes that crazy bitch now- she’s breaking the back window of my ride! Oh, the humanity! I guess I’m “in the rough now”! I’ll have to buy her a “ Kobe special”!

Regarding the nosy neighbors who placed the 911 call, the Adams Family (yes, I’m serious). They’re creepy and they’re spooky. All together kooky. Did Uncle Fester place the call? Gomez? Wednesday? Morticia? Lurch? Thing? And these winners have an attorney now. WTF? Why do they need an attorney? Are you kidding? The only reason for this is they want attention, and, as has been reported, their own reality show! And you thought it couldn’t get any worse than “I Love New York ”! What’s next- Reverend Wright with his own reality series? That would be “par” for the course!

P.S. I hate golf- I always get stuck in the windmill! 

 

Love and Basketball...

 

Video from CBS via YouTube

 

Employees and HR professionals alike often wonder…What should we do about the collision between personal and professional when people to act like, well, people…at work, complete with flaws and bad judgement?

Enter exhibit A, Ron Artest. Artest is a Laker - that’s a basketball team for those of you not so into the whole sports thing. But stay with me! Artest has been rightfully characterized as a not so nice guy (for more, read Fear the Beard's rant). Why? Because a guy named Kyle Slavin, in the open and non-hierarchical world of social media, decided to send an open letter to Artest, welcoming him to the team and also giving him a bit of constructive feedback. Artest, rather than ignoring it or providing an innocuous response, decided to say,

No law when it comes to me.
I let you type critics write and I just keep it hood.
That will never change.
I am not kissing no ones ass because I'm in LA. Suck a c***.

...Only, he didn't use stars for that last bit. Nice open door policy! I will say, after the guy said essentially, hey, I am just trying to be helpful, Artest responded and apologized. But, Artest is a person who does stupid stuff because he is not the sharpest tack in the pack. And he doesn’t use apostrophe’s correctly, but that is beside the point. Needless to say, the reactive HR people and lawyers at the NBA decided on Wednesday they’d better get a policy out on social media asap.  A memo was sent to teams on Wednesday telling them that cell phones and other communication devices can't be used from 45 minutes before game time until after players have finished their responsibilities after games, including halftime. I am not sure what this changes. Is he going to be less likely to pop off an inappropriate response when he’s not in the midst of a game? I suppose, at the very least, it ensure he’s not screwing around during a game, which is something.

Most workplace policies were created because someone failed to exercise common sense, somewhere along the line. As an employee…what do you think about this? Would you be cool with a policy that said no personal communication (email, twitter, facebook, etc.) during work hours? As an employer…is this the kind of policy you should implement in your workplace?

Exhibit B, the other big news this week that had the HR “ouch!” written all over it, was David Letterman’s multiple indiscretions with interns. Besides the fact that it’s obnoxious and he’s gross and you can’t help but feel a tiny bit sorry for him that this whole thing blew up the way it did, really did the world need to know about this…It begs the question: What is the right and wrong about consensual relationships at work?

Some companies have a policy against it (“it” being fraternization between employees), but imho that’s sort of like telling the sun not to rise. So to speak. Adults are going to do what they do. Whether the employers like it or not.

So as an employee, how do you manage it when you can’t resist that relationship with a coworker? Do you tell HR? A manager? Anyone? And as the employer…what do you do when you find out one of your execs is, er, taking liberties with the help? Most companies do have some sort of policy around this, and rightly so...It really doesn't do to have people in a position of power wielding it in the bedroom and the boardroom.

I always remind managers, at least, of the risks of lawsuits (which alas are very real). Other than that…honestly, I have better things to do.  It really is common sense driven. I’m sure that’s how the bigwigs at CBS felt about Letterman until that guy decided he’d try to make some money of the pathetic adventures of Letterman’s apparent ongoing midlife crisis. Interestingly, none of the women were complaining, or if they had, it had been brushed under the rug long ago.

Between Artest and Letterman, it’s clear that there is one commonality: all it takes is one (or two) bad judgement calls to turn a harmless act (i.e. email, sex, a tweet) into a very visible nightmare, creating a tsunami of policies from the HR and Legal team to try to deal with it, not to mention damage control from the PR firm.

My advice? Use common sense,  keep your hands to yourself, and don't go off in a way that would offend grandma...or the legal department. Don't be the person that causes yet one more policy to be written.  I bet both Artest and Letterman are wishing right now that they weren't in that spot. But, they're both human, they'll probably make more mistakes, and they won't be alone. I call that...Job security.

tracy c